CoffeeNate #30 :: Top 10 Coffee Pet Peeves

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“Pet Peeves”…we all have them, it’s that certain something that drives you up a friggin’ wall every time you encounter it.


 The funny thing is that it can easily be something that %99 of people would not pick up on, and I think that makes it even worse!  Coffee pet peeves, coffee gripes, call it what you will, but what follows is a list of the top 10 annoyances related to COFFEE. Be sure to…..

TOP 10 COFFEE PET PEEVES

Well excuuuuuuse me!

1.  Excuuuuuuse me!

The #1 pet peeve is not really coffee related at all!  It comes down to being human, and feeling like you are valued.  Whether it was a barista or a consumer, the number one issue was relationship.  Its about service and about treating the server as a human being.  Its about taking time to explain to a new coffee lover what the drinks are made of, and its about respect.

2.  Hello….McFly?

This peeve is about ‘duuuuh?’  Its about incompetence all around.  Whether it’s an unskilled barista that doesn’t know the difference between a latte and a cappuccino or what about the ‘barista’ that calls espresso “EXpresso”, or an ignorant customer that is looking for the gas station type of ‘kappachino’ machine, there is a lot of dumb out there!  I once visited a local cafe that stored their beans in a 5lb open bag.  When I asked how long ago that bag was opened, the clerk said “oh just recently…like last weekend”  As if I wasn’t blown away by her lack of knowledge already she quickly followed it up with “You know, they pretty much stay fresh forever…once they’re roasted”  Are you kidding me?

3.  Is that tea?

This one came up quite a bit as well, coffee so weak that you could not tell that it was coffee by looking at it.  I was at the barber once (not for me 😉 for my son) and the barber offered me some free coffee.  I looked at the pot and almost laughed out loud.  I saw what appeared to be apple juice in the carafe, and right next to it, and opened can of ‘coffee’.  I politely declined.

Give it 2 us at the right temp, and we'll throw it down!

4.  Goldilocks Syndrome

Is it really that hard to get coffee the right temperature?  especially for a professional shop?  C’mon folks, coffee is properly brewed at between 190 and 205 degrees…anything less and you aren’t extracting all of the flavor, and any hotter would scald the coffee and create a bitter/burnt taste.



5.  Financing available?

$5.75 for a coffee drink…really?  This is getting ridiculous.  I can make the same drink at home for less than $.50…only mine taste better!  Stop ripping us off and we’ll start spending more!  No matter what you think, you should not charge more for an Americano than what you charge for an espresso…period!  Not when there is a %500 mark up on a shot of espresso.  Don’t cry about the lid cost…keep your lid!

6.  Great Expectations


Here’s another one that is on both sides of the counter.  Guess what people, if you order your coffee from the same place that sells gummy bears and motor oil, chances are you are not going to get a premium cup of coffee.  Don’t expect the local gas station to be roasting their own beans and brewing your joe up in a clover!  And Baristas, don’t expect every customer who walks into your shop to know as much as you.  Sure, they may think they do, but really…you are there to help educate them to make an informed order.  This will increase your sales and decrease the amount of waste from unwanted premium drinks.

"Here's your 'light' roast sir"

7. Charcoal Roast

Okay, can we get a universal definition of ‘medium’.  Personally, I would put it between ‘light’ and ‘dark’, but apparently this is way too difficult for some coffee roasters out there.  Newsflash, if your beans are dark and shiny…they aren’t ‘MEDIUM’…that is what we call “CHARCOAL”.  I would hate to see what these clowns call ‘Dark’.  So, if this is you, please entertain the thought of being more descriptive about what type of roast it is.

8.  Put a lid on it!

Take out cup lids.  Nothing is worse than going in for that first heavenly sip of coffee only to get the front of your white shirt douched with hot coffee!  I hate those lids that you can never seem to tell if they are on all of the way, and they always feel like they are falling off.

9.  Simmer down

Once a pot of coffee is brewed, either store it in a carafe or rinse it down the drain after 20 minutes or so.  Don’t let the coffee boil down and simmer on the element…yuck!  You’re going to cook your subpar coffee, then charge me?  That will be the last couple of dollars you ever see from me…or anyone I know!

10.  Live up to the hype!

No, that isn't a Chocolatey Payday!

You’ve seen all of these premium coffees, Kona, Jamaican Blue Mountain, and the much hearalded Kopi Luak.  Okay, I understand that this stuff is scarce and that is the major reason for it’s premium price of $50-$80 per pound, but damn…is there a coffee that is truly worth that crazy amount?  I drink a pound a week by myself, is it really worth me spending over $300/month?  I’ve tried Kona and JBM, but never the Kopi Luwak.  Have you heard about this stuff?  There is this Chinese cat called a Civet.  This little bastard loves eating coffee cherries, but their digestive system only removes the fruit, leaving the ‘beans’ in their stool.  That’s right, someone actually follows these little puppies around, bags up their turds, and then digs the beans out of their poop…and then turns around and charges you $70/lb!  I wouldn’t pay $1 for cat shit, I have a whole litter box filled with the stuff on any given day…nobody wants that!  Granted, Kona and JBM are very tasty coffees and I’d love to drink them regularly, but I don’t believe they are worthy of spending $50 per week.  There are other excellent coffees that are far more reasonable in price.


Honorable Mentions By YOU!

Kevin B.- Getting a mouthful of grinds.

Ashley A- burnt millk that is 3 inches of foam with tastless espresso and someone called it a cappuccino…

large bubble foam – i should have added to that – Can you tell I had a bad experience yesterday….

David G- when I pour too much sugar in my coffee. blah

Matt C – When I ask for room for cream and they give me like a half cup of coffee.

Al B – Biggest pet peeve? Restaurants that take advantage of the “free equipment” offered by a the food supply vendor, only to get locked into crap beans and coffee brewed weaker than tea. This is especially offensive if it’s a higher end restaurant with a reputation for quality and innovation.

Joya H- When you make/buy the perfect cup and are so anticipating it only to pour in cream gone-bad!

Alex – Robusta beans

Caroline D- when my husband decides to “save” money by buying folgers and then expecting me to like it. ew

Todd S- My coffee pet peeve is the over kill hype about how good KOPI LUWAK is when S.O. are great and S.O. BLENDS taste alot more satifying than wisker turd coffee..and people that ARGUE over what coffee is best!

Nashi Self Made- Not Sure Of The Ones U Already Have But This One Is Major For Me~ Going To Order A Cappuccino N Getting A Latte, N Then The Barista Ask How Is It! ? R U Kidding Me? Well 1st Off Get The Drink Right 1st.

Tina D- People who order like they know exactly what they’re ordering… but don’t have a clue. (Granted, I used to do this) But on the flip side, when the barista assumes you know nothing about gourmet coffee, and won’t notice if say, the foam for your cap doesn’t come out right and its really a latte.

Devon H.- When coffee shops have a policy to automatically use low-fat or reduced fat milk and do not ask you when you order what kind you’d like. I always have to make a point of telling them (mostly Starbucks) that I want whole milk (I do not recognize other “milks” as milk). I get really irritated if they tell me they’re out of it because they don’t keep enough stocked.

Jo-Anne P- I hate lukewarm coffee from coffeeshops….and I hate when people don’t wash their coffee pots!!

Jamie M- when you get a coffee through a drive thru and the don’t stir it. And when you go to a coffee shop and they have 15 different kinds of coffee, but they don’t explain the difference in the flavours.

Tamara M.– Skimpy coffee. Stale coffee beans. Canned pre-ground coffee. Flavoured coffee. Etc. Oh, and when a coffee shop offers an organic & fair trade brew but doesn’t prepare it properly (skimpy, stale, under extracted, etc.) therefore giving ethical choice a bad rap.

From Twitter folks 🙂

nerdygrrl @CoffeeNate “expresso” I hate when folks say expresso!

Shananava @CoffeeNate don’t know if got yest.non sugar free specialty drinks in cofffeeshops.Gastric bypass patients,diabetics need coffee love 2.

geekbabe @CoffeeNate when they don’t put the lid securely on my coffee, I totally love coffee all over my work clothing.. NOT!

polandd @CoffeeNate When I advised that “steaming the milk to that temp will scald it, are you sure” being told to shut up & do my job
@CoffeeNate Folks who order the “no froth” cappucino, or say “can you make it taste like the gas station machine?”

@coffeemaverick @CoffeeNate 1) eXpresso instead of eSpresso 2) places that can’t make a real macchiato (thanks to Starbucks caramel macchiato) 3)Milk foaming that sounds like an airplane taking off 4) 7 second shots

jcolman @CoffeeNate Stale coffee (most store-bought coffee) is my pet peeve. Folks should always buy fresh from a roaster.

jtdachtler @CoffeeNate Old coffee beans and People that think coffee at $2 a pound is Grade A , burnt coffee, Flavor coffees that taste like Medicine!

MCJunkie @CoffeeNate pet peeve is oily tasting decafe, yuk.

Nankani @CoffeeNate Picking up my coffee and drinking to find Bro in law used it to spit his chewing tabacco in !!! ~GACK~

There were other great ones, but too many to mention all of them!  Thanks again to all who responded and got their coffee pet peeves off of their chests!

One of my favorite sites to purchase sustainable coffee is Green Mountain Coffee Roasters. They are easy to deal with and offer a huge variety of coffees to try. I like how they have details about where the coffee came from, right down to the farmer! They have a great coffee buying club that gets you a discount of $1 per bag and you don’t have to order a minimum amount, nor do you have to order at any frequency. Pay them a visit!

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CONTEST ANNOUNCMENT…..

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Nate

Nate is a special kind of coffee lover. He began drinking the same swill that most others do, but thought there must be something better out there. Sure enough, he was right, even more so than he ever dreamed possible. He soon found his way into the specialty coffee industry, and was tasting exceptional coffees from dozens of roasters from around the country. He is now committed to teaching others how they can appreciate coffee, and how they can make the best coffee in town and save money at the same time! Cheers c[_]

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